January 2012
21 posts
Today is a day for sugar.
This morning I woke early, and made pancakes for the girl curled up on my bed. The sun was coming up as I drew the curtains and set the table. A pot of tea sat ready. I sang softly, half-hoping that it would catch her attention when she came round from her blissfully unconscious state. I sprinkled sugar and lemon juice across the centre. I knew that’s how she’d like them. Her face lit...
5 tags
Kindness never was a comfort zone I could escape to, It always felt so alien, and left me numb and bored. Cold kept me awake; I prayed you understood my meaning, I always knew poetry was much more than staying warm. I held that line inside my hand, your voice kept in my head, Waited for the day that my tongue would get to know its taste, But thieves and liars got there first and burned the flavour...
Anonymous asked: Marry my voice and divorce your hesitation. Once we're undone, we'll have more to try and nothing to lose. Nothing but their noise. Far better to be a victim fallen from exposure...
Anonymous asked: I wish I could find you and climb under the rain's assault. Descending somewhere beneath the foundation. Then you could destroy me and I would unmake you and we would pull it all down on top of us... wrought iron and bricks and rough clay and even the sky and winter birds... to pass through it all and finally leave this place...
6 tags
Now I am a thief; I have stolen away What others crave. I took on a challenge Of which I am afraid, Have no use for; No small or easy Work for idle hands.
I’m not sure any more Which “me” I speak for. I refuse to believe That the drink Made me think It’d be fine. I Swallowed slow and Steady, watched The world go by, Sure my eyes Took everything in Straight and sharp For...
Maybe there’s something more to this than dark nights and our endless gushing, perhaps there’s a purpose. It scares me that I almost hate the thought, yet you’re so sweet. Almost unbearably. Trying to find the light in this, the freedom, seems almost impossible because when people sing its praises they’re all things I don’t need or want for. It feels like stealing...
2 tags
It’s simply that I’m not coping well. This feels like living in Hell; not sharp relieving pain but the slow aching kind, that builds and won’t shake and feels like a part of you. This is cruelty. But I am inhuman and cruel. In theory, my horizons have brightened considerably, but the here and now is unbearable and I can’t think of anything else. The amount of time and...
The rain stopped, and the wind picked up. It’s the same every night.
1 tag
There’s an echo in the back of my head already; all the words I know you’ll say just a little too loudly, an echo of the paths you’ll trace with fingertips. This isn’t a world I’m familiar with. I feel seasick and I want to get off. I’m not walked home in the small hours, I’m left to my own devices on the wrong side of a stranger’s bed. I gained you...
I am aching and tired. I have 2,000 words to write for tomorrow morning. I am already so sleep deprived it physically hurts. I wish people would talk to me nicely but I’m too afraid to annoy or disappoint. I need a month in bed in the quiet, but I have so much to do I can’t even sleep tonight. My go-to album is just making me really sad. I need cigs but can’t go get them. I...
Almost everything I write begins with “I”. I’m torn between anonymity and showing face between details, and creativity.
1 tag
You wanted to come over. You ate dinner. I drank wine. You wouldn’t look me in the eye.
We tried being together. We didn’t laugh. We had no time. We didn’t even try.
I adjusted the exposure. I stayed in the dark. You did cry. I never asked you why.
2 tags
You were the place I went to when I clicked my heels and wished real hard. You weren’t magical- You felt like home. Quietly beautiful, It was the familiarity That had my heart, The shelter that I didn’t know Was falling down already.
I could swear my spine was made of lead And my mouth was a black hole. 3am’s my best friend. I make a cliché out of of “alone”
4 tags
I know the feeling of craving, Don’t pretend otherwise, The desperate hungry Impatience. I have bathed in sunshine Yet I’m dirty, dirtied By things I can no longer choose. I could have given it a name But nothing ever seems to fit, Too soft or light, Too heavy.
I tried reaching out But it aches, I am weak, And you refuse a return To an age where we were glorious. Your light is one...
1 tag
I’m not a lot better than the kids you berate, Stood outside dirty venues cigarette-in-hand Singing the praises of this group, that band Sweetheart, they’re my friends, and I’ve said It’s not where you are, but who you go with. If I want to drink in a loud dirty bar, well then So be it.
1 tag
I am not far away, no long Journey to the rooftops, bathroom, Not anywhere you’ve held me from
I threw my boots at the wall And the heels fell, echoed Through empty hall. No shoes To soak up the sound, revelling In the company of others. No; smack against the wood, Panelling hit back.
1 tag
victoriansilurianlesbianthespian:
Weeds
My neck...
9 tags
I’ve been watching you from this window pane For so long you grew into my bones. You taught me the lessons I needed to Understand that I sat behind glass.
